English: A funny language!?!?

We sometimes take English for granted
but if we examine its paradoxes --

We find that quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
One goose, 2 geese.
So, one moose, 2 meese?
If the teacher taught,
why didn't the preacher praught
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
what the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can 'slim chance and a fat chance' be the same,
while ' wise man and a wise guy' are opposites?
English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(which of course isn't a race at all).
That is why when the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts
But when I wind up this poem it ends!!!

3 comments:

JO said...

Now I know why I failed in english ... it's not my fault ... the silly language doesn't quite know whether it's coming or going.

suze said...

me agree much!!!! :)

JO said...

Check out this site too -- http://www.engrish.com/
Guaranteed to give you a good laugh!