Karma?

One of the things I hate is people who doesn't even acknowledge a dinner invitation and worst, he/she will confirm/cancel hours before the event.

I try to host dinner with a group of friends from time to time. At most I can only accommodate 6-8 adults (based on the number of chairs that I have in our little apartment).

This person (we'll call "L") never confirms nor cancel any of my invitations, and then L would call a couple of hours before the event to confirm/cancel. L is really getting on my nerve. I really hate it! I could have invited other people in his place if only he canceled earlier. How could some people be so thoughtless??? inconsiderate??? and so selfish???

The last dinner that I hosted, even though L didn't confirm, I assumed he will come since he himself said that he will be giving out invitations to me and to my 2 other guests. And then 4 hours before the dinner, he called to cancel! Then I received his wedding invitation via email... oh, I don't even know how to put words into it.

Now, he knows what it feels like when people doesn't confirm... his wedding day is getting closer and he mentioned to my hubby that nobody was confirming and he need to finalize his reservations... Karma? I think so.

Back in the Philippines, we eventually got tired of inviting L to get togethers, as he would always have some lame excuses... like I left my wallet/ATM card, I lost my wallet (used for the nth time), I have work (even if its 10pm Friday night or weekends), I haven't slept for 24 hours... etc etc... the lists were non-stop. We would tease him to come up with a book on 1001 Excuses!

I put up with L because when he first migrated here, we were one of the few people he knew.. being single and no relatives, we try to include him in our social activities, made him a part of our family... now that he made lots of "friends", this is how he is treating his "old" friends???

I promised myself that from now on he will not be included in my guest lists! If his "new found friends" are more important than those who helped him get started and put a roof over his head, then so be it.

8 comments:

Junnie said...

easy Jo. Ang puso mo....

give him/ her a second chance, im sure he has some reasons for not attending....

evi said...

jo, why not tell him about what you feel everytime he turns down an invite at the last minute. tell him that if he can't make it, he has the freedom to say no by all means. but don't make lame excuses as it is pretty obvious by this time.

i think your friend does not have the ability to refuse outright. and maybe he thought finding a way out at the eleventh hour is reasonable than saying no at once.

i understand that it can really get into our nerves esp. after all the preparations.

i'm sure you are a very gracious host. i hope i'm close enough to get invited. hehe...

JO said...

Hi Junnie/Evi,

Naku this is not the first time L done this to me! Since college days pa! kaya super pasensioso na ako sa kanya! and he knows about it ever since!

Naomi said...

uy nung magkikita sana tayo, nagsabi ako na di kami matutuloy ha =)
smile naman dyan =)

JO said...

Dont worry Naomi, I'm a very understanding person...

Sobra na talaga ang pambibitin na ginagawa ni L sa akin... ibang klase lang talaga yun taong iyon.

So kailan tayo magkikita?

Agring said...

Baka akala n'ya OK lang sa iyo Jo kaya palaging ginagawa sa iyo. Why not let L know how you feel like what Evi said. Friends naman kayo diba?

Vintage Star said...

i agree with evi. you've been friends long enough that you can tell him the plain truth. i think he's so used to this, he thinks it's acceptable. he needs to be "retrained".

Kevin Lam said...

Ha! From your descriptions, I think I know who this guy you are pertaining to. Siguro masyado na kayong acquainted, eh ti-ne-take it for granted nalang niya. Try not to invite him and see if he response back like "bakit hindi mo na ako ini-imbita sa gatherings niyo?"