Whirlwind Romance?

For me, a relationship whose foundation started on friendship is the best foundation of all. You get to know each other better even before you develop feelings for one another.

I have friends whose relationship is a whirlwind romance and much to my amazement, honestly, it worked out just fine for them. As far as I can see, they are happily married.

Couple #1:
One of my best friend in high school met her husband through "kai siao" (introduction by parents), 6 months later, they were married. You see, my friend's grandma died, and based on chinese tradition, its either they got married within the first 100 days or wait for 2 years. They opted option #1. Now they got 3 lovely kids and still very much married after 11 years!

Couple #2:
An ex-officemate of mine, who was on a rebound at that time, met her husband and was married within 8 months from the first time they met. Her ultimate goal was to get married and be a wife and mother. She never liked working. I was telling her to wait a little bit longer since she's still very young (22 at that time) and if I'm not mistaken there's a 9 years age gap. During the first 2 years of their married life, she still talks about her ex, which scared me because I felt that she hasn't fully recovered from that relationship. Now, 12 years later and 2 kids, they are still the same as the first time they met.

Couple #3:
The girl is a single mom... she joined one of those "seeking mate" online thing and met her husband, a foreigner there. He was divorce with 2 kids. It was a long distance relationship. They exchange emails and phone calls... and the first time they met in person, they have to get married so that she can get a visa to go to Europe with him. Everything happen in a span of 10 months. That was 5 years ago. They have 1 child together.

... oOo ...

Someone close to the family is currently experiencing this same situation. The guy is in his late 30s. The girl is a single mom of a 1-year old girl and in her mid 30s. They met through the internet, 2 months ago, and set-up their wedding date this coming October. Too fast too soon?

The guy thinks he's not at the losing end, in fact, he said he even got a "bonus" (meaning the child).

I think the girl is taking advantage of him. She is obviously on a rebound. Currently jobless and has a 1-year old baby.

Everybody on the guy's family wanted them to wait for a couple more months to get to know each other and get married sometime next year.

As for the girl's side, I don't really know how her parents could allow her to get married after a failed relationship that ended up with a baby. The guy have met the girl's family and friends... but the guy's family (so far) haven't met the girl and her family yet.

They are already both in their 30s, there's no need to rush into marriage just because they think they are getting older and their biological clock is ticking... what's a couple more months, right? and what's the big rush to get married?

What's you take on this one? Am I/the family being too naive and/or conservative? Or is this the "in" thing now-a-days?

I can just hope and pray that they know what they are doing and this isn't something they will regret later on.

16 comments:

JO said...

Hubby and I met in 1988 and have been best of friends since then... we became a couple in 1993 and married in 1995.

MrsPartyGirl said...

hi jo, i guess hubby and i are your couple #4 :D we got engaged just barely a month after we met. 3 years hence, we've got a 2-yr old to show for it, and we still act like newlyweds most of the time (ie away-bati). no one's complaining, though. :D

i guess the most important thing about getting married is that you enter it with your eyes wide open - knowing that your actions will eventually have repercussions and that, whatever happens, you're willing to stand by your commitment or decision. i sincerely believe that if one gets married for any reason other than wanting a secure, loving, and eternal commitment, it's going to be one shaky ride.

as a friend, the only thing we can do right now is be happy for them, to let them make their own decisions, and to be there if things get rough. let's just hope that your friend is mature enough to face the future she is building for herself, and that eventually both she and her fiance will emerge the better for it. (as i did, i think! :D)

mama jenn said...

hmm.. whirlwind din kami ng asawa ko e, although i must say the way our relationship progressed would be something i would not advise to my own children. i would prefer that they spend more time (read:years) knowing their boy/girl friend before they decide on marriage. hubby and i got married exactly a year and 20 days since we first met :D

having said that, my 2-cents would be your family friend ought to spend more time thinking about this decision. but since they are already in their mid-30's they must be thinking that time is of the essence... :D

duke said...

hello jo!

My ex bfs were all good friends and it never worked out. In the end, I married my husband in a span of one year of meeting him :D whirlwind din!

Ann said...

Whirlwind din kami ni KD, We met in May, naging bf ko sya ng August, got married in December of the same year.

We are now 16 years married happily with 3 kids.

JO said...

Hi Meeya, Jenn, Duke and Ann,

Naku, panay whirlwind romance pala ang mga love story niyo.

Both of them are really decided on getting married, so there's really nothing that we can do but give them our suport and pray for them. Hope their marriage will turn out just like yours.

Thanks for sharing.

fennymun said...

Hi jo, the ideal is to start with friendships and sharing of common interests and goals etc. Yet, people change as time passes by...

ghee said...

love love love..amazing isnt it?
some are success,some are not.

well,my hubby proposed me after six months being a couple.

so far,so good..the relationship is still strong though we had encountered lots of trials.

i wish your friends good luck,and yours,too!

JO said...

Hi Fenny and Ghee,

This case is different... they will be married within 5 months from the first time they've met!

Tani said...

hi jo. my take on the situation... they should get married... why? because it's the guy who seem to be getting the losing end of the deal yet he's the one who wants to pursue the relationship.. must be real love..

*eLLe* said...

time for another quiz! :D

ANALYSE said...

frenchguy and i started out as friends, then became sweethearts via LDR (yep, we realized we liked each other when he went back to france!).. then decided to live together around 2 years after we first met .. got engaged officially another year later.. and had a baby another 2 years later.. if you talk about whirlwind, it's not likely our case hehe...

re your friend: at that age, i guess they're mature enough to decide for themselves, i just wonder why the rush?

JO said...

Hi Tani,
Kaya nga concern ang family, kasi the guy is part of the family... but you're right, the girl has nothing to lose.

Hi Analyse,
Exactly the same question we are asking - "why the big rush?" The girl is not pregnant naman daw.

Sabi nga ng family mag live-in na lang muna... and see how the relationship will grow from there. ",)

Junnie said...

the world is changing JO. you cant expect the same with others, at the same time, life has some few surprises too. i've seen friends to have had 10 years of marriage and 12 years of engagement, gone in a pfft...and some, 2 months engaged and swak! they're still happy 15 years hence...

sabi nga ni Donna Cruz, "kapag tumibok ang puso..."

Tani said...

proceed na lang with caution. gawa pre-nuptial agreement and all if they really want to get married. laki na sila. they can think for themselves. :) all you have to do, as his family, is keep your fingers crossed and pray.

JO said...

Hi Junnie and Tani,
Yes, I agree that a relationship can still fail even if you've known each other for many many years...

Our major concern is "why the big rush?" Up to now, I still don't get it. Or maybe I am way too conservative.

...................

Please don't get me wrong, I am not judging people in a whirlwind relationship.