Feeling VIP?

What do you do when you get invited to a party or get-together and you know from the start that you won't be able to make it? Do you tell your host immediately? Or do you just keep quiet, neither confirming your attendance nor declining?

I make it a point that if I can, I tell the host immediately. And if I can't, I tell the host as soon as I know that I can't make it. It is not "polite" to let people count you in their food preparation when know that you can't make it already. Remember, the host is not just counting 1 but you and your family. So numbers do count!

Last month, on hubby's birthday, I invited a lot of people. Half of them I know are going to come, the rest, not a word! Even when I ask them a few days before the party, they neither confirm nor decline. Some of them did say "yes". So I count them in my food preparation. Guess what? Other than those who confirmed, none of the rest came. Lots of food had gone to waste.

My birthday party, same thing happened. Though this time, I was wise enough not to invite those other people who didn't show up at hubby's party. But I am still expecting one family of 5. I invited them to hubby's party too and they didn't show up. The day before my party, I saw her online at Facebook and left her a message in one of her post asking if they are coming or not. Other people left messages to her after my message. Guess what? She answered other people's messages, except mine. Is it that hard to reply and say "sorry, can't make it" or "I'm busy" or "we have other plans"? I mean, I will not force you to come if you say you can't. If you don't have a car to come here, I may offer to pick you up and drop you off later.

From now on, she is off my list.

11 comments:

tin said...

that's sad, jo. i guess your experience tells you who your real friends are.. sana kami na lang in-invite mo.. he he. :)

Junnie said...

some people just dont know how to say a definitive "NO", pinapaasa pa tayo...i hope they all find solace in the fact that when they invite, the same will happen to them...hope not.

d3nd3n said...

i agree with tin, kami na lang invite mo and for sure will let you know definitely. :p

i guess it's a pinoy trait--not being able to say NO. what grates me though are those who say YES tapos di pupunta.

hope u had a nice birthday despite some people not turning up. it's their loss, afterall.

JO said...

Hi Tin and Denden,
You're welcome to our house anytime...

Hi Junnie,
Do you think her being married to a white guy is her problem???

Heart of Rachel said...

Sanay na ako sa ganyan dito sa atin pero nakakainis nga. Personally, I make it a point to tell the host if I can come or not.

tanivillamora said...

That happened to us during our wedding last January. A lot of people neither confirmed nor declined. Twice pa namin sinabihan. Pa-VIP ba. We wanted to still count them, but because we're on a tight budget, we dropped them from our head count for the caterers. Lo and behold, they showed up. We had to pay extra and the coordinators got a little overwhelmed with the seating arrangement.

Ako, I'd tell the person immediately if I can make it to their party or not. It's the right thing to do.

JO said...

Hi Rach,
Is this really a Filipino trait?

Hi Tani,
Oh no! People should really learn to RSVP on weddings. I mean, it is not cheap to get married these days...

Maria Berg said...

For wedding people do turn up, but for partys same thing have happen to me many time - but the worst was a birthday party for my dotter, she started in a new group of kids (5 years old) 1 turned up out of 6 and the rest they did not say anything!
MB

JO said...

Hi Maria,
That's too bad. Some parents are just not thinking ahead. What if it's their son/daughter's party and nobody showed up? How would the child feel?

I'm glad that my daughter's birthday party turn out pretty well... everybody who confirms showed up.

Sasha said...

Some people are really inconsiderate. I tell the host I could not come if I am invited to a party and something came up.

Sayang naman yung food. And one of the things that really annoy me is messages unanswered when you can see that there's no reason for it to be so.

JO said...

Thanks Sasha.