The Psychological Effect of Growing Old

I have a healthy life so to speak. I don't usually get sick.

Finding a family doctor in Canada can be pretty hard. I was lucky to find one easily when we first migrated. But when we decided to relocate to another province, I couldn't get one until 4 months ago. As I said it wasn't much of a problem having no family doctor since none of us has any recurring illness. The only problem is that we couldn't get any physical exam done during the last 3 years.

So now that we've got a family doctor the first thing that I requested is a physical exam for all of us. When I was having my one-on-one interview with the doctor, it came out that my BP is a bit high. And when she did it again, it went much higher. I feel like I was really relaxed at that time, but obviously my BP doesn't agree with me. That was last week.

Today, I had my urine and blood test and also mammogram. My very first mammogram ever, and it hurts a lot! And as soon as I got home, I felt tired and fell asleep. My dream feels so real at that time! It scares the hell out of me! Included in my dream was an individual dress in black cloak holding something in the hands and I was in a dark room with all doors that opens to nothing. And I keep saying "I don't want to die yet"... and then my alarm went off and it was time for me to pick up my son from the bus stop.

Not knowing what the outcome of my mammogram, pap test, blood and urine tests are, I'm already waiting in anticipation. And it scares me even in my sleep.


Heart of Rachel said...

Hope all the results will come out favorable. Take care.